From Rage To Love
While things became heated between me and pretty much anyone when I was in my late teens and early twenties, it took absolutely nothing to set me off. I’ve yelled uncontrollably at my parents, shouted incredibly terrible things at friends, and once even tossed a phone at the office.
I’ve never been excellent at managing my anger. I believe I “learned” it from my father, who was known for flying off the handle when I was younger. I experienced an unusual type of upset when I became upset. Anger that is bubbling, heated, and rising would be the feeling. The kind that can impair your judgment and cause you to make foolish decisions that you will later regret.
I was eventually able to make changes but not before having several unpleasant interactions and relationships with everyone in my life. It surprises me that someone didn’t teach me this stuff when I was a crazy and hormonal teenager; otherwise, I could have avoided becoming a crazy and hormonal 20-year-old.
Never forget that everything is a choice between love and fear. Love nourishes love, and fear grows terror. Fear and anger do not mix well. How can I make this situation more loving for everyone involved? Let love be your guide.
My Four Easy Ways To Convert My Rage Into Love
1) BE AWARE OF YOUR TRUTH AND UPHOLD IT… GENTLY
When we engage in heated debates and confrontations with our loved ones, two major issues come up. The first is not being aware of our truth, and the second is stubbornly upholding it. This combo is not good.
Even when it isn’t true for those around you, be aware of what is true for you. Even fundamental variations are OK! If you want someone else to agree with your feelings, thoughts, or beliefs, you must acknowledge that they might hold a different opinion. Don’t push them to see things your way; instead, be kind, stand up for what you believe, and acknowledge that others have their own truths.
2) YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE YOU CAN CONTROL
When I work with my clients, I am constantly reminded of this. You must always remember that you are the only person you can influence, whether you are angry with someone or your relationship is becoming tense. You completely control how you will react, answer, and continue the conversation. You pour more fuel into the fire as you become more receptive.
3) WALKING AWAY IS OKAY
You could believe that leaving a loved one during a fight is the same as saying you don’t care, but there are instances when stepping away and giving things some time is preferable to keeping a bad situation going and making it worse. Sometimes the solution to a relationship that is getting too heated is to take a break, gain some perspective, and start over. This might be the most loving thing you’ve ever done for either of you.
4) SHOW GRATITUDE, ACCEPT THINGS AND LET GO
It’s time to let go now that you have accepted the way things are. Let go of the urge to be correct and the need to be understood. It’s not necessary for the other person to comprehend your thoughts or feelings; all we ask is that they accept them and continue to love you. Love, which is acceptance, will lead you.
The final stage, which could seem a little challenging, is gratitude.
Gratitude glows where anger is short-lived. Be thankful for the difficulties they bring you because they provide you a chance to develop, confirm your identity, and learn how to gently maintain your authenticity. Even though they could irritate you, this is an opportunity for you to grow closer to love, control your rage, and find peace with the differences between you and the people you love.
If you keep your attention on managing your reactions and figuring out additional methods to accept the other person’s perspective, love will always triumph over fear and fury in any relationship, no matter how complicated things become. Before you realize it, like attracts like, and soon enough, rage turns into love.
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